Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

Writing Your Own Wedding Vows
By Patrick Clemmond

Write Your Own Wedding Vows

The speaking of marriage vows are not words to be spoken lightly or in haste, that were found in a textbook or magazine article. The meaning behind the words you utter when saying your vows should be studied and meditated on long before they are made.
The words of a marriage covenant convey the most significant intentions ever to come from your heart through your lips towards another human being, to love honour and cherish till death us do part! Thats huge.

Most vows I have witnessed of late remind me of a puritan clich seen on many posters and a comic strip that states love is never having to say youre sorry and it makes me sad to think that such beautiful words can eventually cause so much hurt in the pure of heart.

We say were sorry when we come to realize we have unjustly hurt a loved one with words or actions that invariably breach a promise or vow made, and we seek forgiveness in saying we are sorry. Without remorse there can be no love.

If never having to say youre sorry means never hurting, then to never hurt means love is perfected in you. Yet we make vows as though love is perfected in us when it is not.
Most pre-written vows are idyllic and beautiful, yet place unrealistic expectations on fallible men and women, invariably these are broken and leave countless couples broken hurt and devastated in their wake.

Wedding vows are words embedded in a solemn covenant promise which if kept will bring about blessing and if broken a curse.
A promise kept and a promise broken will change the way you live breathe and think for the rest of your days.

The Importance of Vows

There are many beautiful romantic words you can use to express your feelings to one another as a run up to the vows, but dont confuse these with the actual vows. The actual vows are the words intended to bind, commit, and tie you to your partner for the rest of your living days. They are separate from the feelings you have for each other. They are words that form the very foundation of your future.

Consider this; your vows are the reason why friends and family surround you on your wedding day, to bear witness to what was said between you and your beloved. The whole wedding event with all its pomp and ceremony, preparations, friends and family coming from afar, their costs, your costs, your family costs, all to hear you and your partner make your vows, now thats powerful!

Wedding Vow elements

In this section I will outline the basic elements of two kinds of love we find ourselves dealing with in relationships on a day to day basis. As humans we are flesh, having a tendency towards conditional love which in essence says I do for you, therefore you do for me which has its merits and appeals to our fallen nature, but is diametrically opposed to unconditional love, derived from the Greek word agape which is also spoken of as the God kind of love.

I have listed the characteristics of the two love forms so that you can consider each as you ponder the words you are about to write in your vows. Your vows need to be prophetic in the sense that they speak promises based on your character now into future existence that are not yet, knowing full well that you are not there yet and that a road lies before you both. The only hint I am going to give you is to use phrases like I will strive to, and forgive me if I fall. If I give you any more, then the vows will not be yours.

Unconditional Love (humility)

Unconditional love circumvents those around it and seeks to give
Unconditional love is never offended and always forgives
Unconditional love serves without expecting compensation
Unconditional love never fails
Unconditional love finds reward is in giving

Conditional Love (pride)

Conditional love is at the center of itself seeking what it can get from others
Conditional love is easily offended and does not forgive easily
Conditional love expects compensation for serving
Conditional love fails
Conditional love finds no reward in giving

*Copyright
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I entered the wedding industry professionaly in 1995 operating as a photographer/videographer/dj/planner. Throughout this time I have recorded and been involved with countless weddings. I am also the author and programmer of the wedding application yesIdo-weddings

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